The Husband of One Wife – Part 1

September 23, 2010 at 9:02 am | Posted in Bible Studies, Biblical Marriage | 8 Comments
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Why did some of the Old Testament patriarchs have multiple wives?

I. What God Authorized

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:18-25

From what part of Adam was Eve taken? Not from his head or his foot, but from his side. This symbolizes equality, protection, and proximity to his “heart.” How many ribs did God take from Adam? Not two, not three – just one. Adam named the fish and the birds first. They could do things he couldn’t do: live underwater and fly. The land animals were doing something that Adam couldn’t do alone: mating with the females of their kind – and the fact that Adam did not have a mate was not good. God created man so that one woman is sufficient to meet all his needs. That’s God’s plan. That’s His standard. That’s what He authorized. God made it very clear: one man; one woman; two people; one made for the other; becoming one flesh.

However, note that they became one flesh – not one spirit. Marriage is a physical, earthly union, not a spiritual, eternal union. Marriage is an earthly institution ordained by God. God’s rules for it are to be obeyed. He does not want us tampering with them. When God ordains something there are blessings in doing it right. There is danger in doing it wrong. The same principle applies to baptism, the Lord’s Supper, and the Church.

Are there people who were married on earth who are in Heaven right now and are still in a marriage relationship?

He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.

Revelation 2:17

Marriage relationships in Heaven would require divided affections as spouses would still owe allegiance to each other. In Heaven all allegiance, service, and worship will be directed toward the Lord alone. My wife is God’s daughter first and foremost.

So, what about the polygamy that we see in the Old Testament? It’s always good to look in the Bible and see the “firsts.”

And Lamech said unto his wives, Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech: for I have slain a man to my wounding, and a young man to my hurt.

Genesis 4:23

The Lamech from the ungodly line of Cain was the first bigamist. (He may have also been the author of the first sinful poem or song.) The “and” in Genesis 4:23 does not denote two separate killings. It is like when I say, “I went to the store and I went with my shoes on.” That does not mean that I went to the store twice. It is parallelism for emphasis. The same kind of “and” connects Genesis 1:1 and 1:2: “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.” Lamech not only celebrated his killing with a little ditty, but he made a mockery of God’s mercy to Cain.

If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold.

Genesis 4:24

Jesus made a mockery of Lamech, though, when He said that His followers were not to get revenge to a degree of seventy times seven, but are to forgive to the degree of seventy times seven.

What God authorizes (what He “wills,” in one sense) and what God allows are two different things.

II. What God Allows

Remember, God destroyed the world, saving only Noah and his family, but at the tower of Babel men turned to idolatry and paganism. God called Abraham at a time when there weren’t that many Godly women around. When we read about the patriarchs of the Old Testament we have to remember that Old Testament examples are given for good and bad examples. God did use bigamists and polygamists at times. Who is He using today? “Great men of God?” No, He is using liars, adulterers, murderers, idolators, blasphemers – broken, pitiful, sinful, wretched men of a great and merciful and loving and holy God: trophies of His grace. Therefore, we can not assume that because God used polygamists in the Old Testament to do His will that He condoned their polygamy.

If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated:

Deuteronomy 21:15, emphasis added

This is a case where the first wife has died.

Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn:

Deuteronomy 21:16

Now the husband is focused only on his living wife, but God is saying that he must not forget his firstborn child.

But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his. If a man have [present tense] a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them [present tense]:

Deuteronomy 21:17-18, emphasis and parentheses added

To say that polygamy is okay with God based on Deuteronomy 21:15-16 is the same as saying that having a stubborn and rebellious son is okay with God based on Deuteronomy 21:17-18.

Many times the New Testament clarifies the Old Testament.

Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man’s device. And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:

Acts 17:29-30

God, in patience, longsuffering, and love, overlooked the iniquities of men. But where Christ is proclaimed, God will not wink at idol worship.

Consider the Words of Jesus:

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Matthew 19:4-8

Some Old Testament patriarchs had multiple wives and appeared to be blessed: Jacob, David, some of the kings of Israel and Judah.

Here are some men greatly used by God that had one wife: Adam, Noah, Isaac, Moses, Job, Isaiah, Hosea, Joseph, Jesus (His “bride” being the Church).

The practice of multiplying wives grew and increased under Saul. David engaged in it. It culminated under Solomon.

We have seen:
I. What God Authorized

Next time we will finish looking at:
II. What God Allows,
and discuss:
III. What God Accepts

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  1. […] was the first bigamist, and probably the author and performer of the first poem or song. The “and” in Genesis 4:23 […]

  2. […] have seen: I. What God Authorized Now we are looking at II. What God […]

  3. […] will is perfect. Unless you are a bigamist or a polygamist, you are married to the person to whom God wants you to be married. You may have heard the old joke […]

  4. […] Apostle Paul to reveal a mystery concerning marriage. Marriage had been around since the time of Adam and Eve, but the full revelation of what it meant had not been revealed until Ephesians 5:24-32. The […]

  5. […] evil bigamist Lamech bragged to his wives about killing a man, and it almost sounds like he killed two men […]

  6. […] – Part 3 27. Tips for Teachers 28. Dr. Law and Dr. Grace 29. Healing for Truly Broken Hearts 30. The Husband of One Wife – Part 1 31. The Husband of One Wife – Part 2 32. The Devil’s Math 32. Setting Up Your Own Place […]

  7. […] example for the nation, the people fell back into sin. Judges 9 is the account of one of the sons he had with a slave. This son’s name was […]

  8. […] 1. The Husband of One Wife – Part 1 2. The Husband of One Wife – Part 2 3. The Blessings of an Unhappy Marriage Part 1 4. The Blessings of an Unhappy Marriage Part 2 5. God Is Real, God Is Good, and God is REALLY GOOD! 6. Mysteriously Meaningful Marriage Part 1 7. Mysteriously Meaningful Marriage Part 2 8. Reverence in Marriage (Part 1) 9. Reverence in Marriage (Part 2) 10. Marrying and Burying 11. The Marriage Curse * 12. Desire in Marriage 13. A Designer Marriage 14. A Marriage of Flesh and Bones 15. Whose Idea WAS this Marriage? 16. The POV of Marriage 17. Marriage: The Long and the Short of It 18. Regaining What Was Lost in Marriage 19. The Problem of Shame in Marriage 20. The Solution to the Problem of Shame in Marriage 21. Suffering in Marriage 22. LONGsuffering in Marriage 23. Be Kind to Your Spouse 24. Objections to Being Kind to Your Spouse 25. Jump-Starting Your Marriage 26. Performing a Biopsy on Your Marriage 27. Getting the Puffiness Out of Your Marriage 28. More Testing for Puffiness in Your Marriage 29. A C.A.L.M. and Courteous Marriage 30. A C.A.L.M. and Accommodating Marriage 31. A C.A.L.M. and Longsuffering Marriage 32. A C.A.L.M. and Merciful Marriage 33. The Right Kind of Rejoicing in Marriage 34. Fooling Around with Celibacy in Marriage 35. Having a F.I.N.E. Marriage 36. Getting Busy in Marriage 37. Smart Phones and Marriage 38. Marital Espionage 39. A Concupiscible Marriage 40. How Whack-A-Mole Can Help Your Marriage 41. Imagination in Marriage 42. Guarding the Top of the Wall in Marriage 43. An Irascible Marriage 44. A Courageous Marriage 45. A Confident Marriage 46. The Lord’s Love Song 47. A Not-So-Amazing Marriage 48. Inhabiting and Investigating Your Marriage 49. Influence, Intercession, and Inheritance in Marriage 50. Seven Marriage Resolutions 51. Be a Friend to Your S.P.O.U.S.E. 52. Going Beyond Fairy Tale Marriage 53. An Illustrative Marriage 54. Why Is Marriage So Honorable? […]


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