Desire in Marriage

September 14, 2011 at 8:52 am | Posted in Biblical Marriage | 2 Comments
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Last time, I described the effects of the curse brought about by sin on the first marriage.

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Genesis 3:16 (emphasis added)

There is a common misconception among Bible teachers that sexual desire itself is part of the curse, but that is not true. For wives, the curse is finding pain in the one relationship that fulfills the roles God created you for as a woman. The “desire” that is part of the curse is not a desire for intimacy. It’s a desire for unlawful control. It’s a desire for coup d’etat. It’s a desire to stage a rebellion in your marriage, and to seize control for yourself, even though this desire often operates at an almost subconscious level.

If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

Genesis 4:7

That Verse is about Cain and Abel, but it illustrates the early Bible concept of “desire.” The “desire” of women that is part of the sin curse is the same desire whereby one person desires to rule over another person.

But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

I Timothy 2:12-15 (emphasis added)

The curse will not be done away with in this life. But its effects can be mitigated through the disciplines of Godly marriage.

So, why did God’s curse upon women tie them to the very thing they were ordained to do?

1. To show God’s redemptive glory in the picture of marriage; and
2. To sanctify husbands and wives through the marriage covenant and relationship.

Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree:

Galatians 3:13

The curse of our sin was tied to Christ, and bearing that curse was the very thing He was ordained to do.

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  1. […] made in such a way that they would enjoy these things. Adam and Eve had a desire to procreate and to be sexual before they sinned, and they were made by God to enjoy the physical acts and sensations which lead […]

  2. […] (Part 1) 9. Reverence in Marriage (Part 2) 10. Marrying and Burying 11. The Marriage Curse * 12. Desire in Marriage 13. A Designer Marriage 14. A Marriage of Flesh and Bones 15. Whose Idea WAS this Marriage? 16. The […]


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