A C.A.L.M. and Longsuffering Marriage

September 7, 2012 at 9:34 am | Posted in Biblical Marriage, I Corinthians | 6 Comments
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Calm marriages are full of:


Christian love in marriage…

…[d]oth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

I Corinthians 13:5 (emphasis added)

I discussed this before when I wrote about I Corinthians 13:4 (“charity suffereth long…”), but here the Bible is focused on the problem of anger. Christian love in marriage is not short-tempered. Have you blown your cool and yelled at your spouse when you didn’t really mean it? How about when you really did mean it? The common excuse we give ourselves for this behavior is that, “I can’t help it, I’m just temperamental.” The problem is, most of us are “temperamental,” but we’re 90% “temper” and only about 10% “mental.” The other typical excuse for an outburst of anger is that, “When I lose my cool, it’s righteous indignation, but when my spouse loses her cool, she’s full of the devil.” The Bible does not accept these excuses.

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

Ephesians 4:26

This verse does not mean that, once we get angry, we should never let the “day of our anger” end (“do not let the sun go down…”). The most common application of this verse is that spouses should never “go to bed angry,” but even that is not the primary interpretation. What this verse is really telling us is that we need to do a serious analysis of why our anger is causing us to sin. We all have our little “idiosyncrasies” and “hot button issues.” Our challenge as Christian spouses is to identify these areas in each other and try to avoid unnecessarily pressing them, while at the same time bringing our own weaknesses before the Lord and our spouses, and working together to identify why these triggers are there, so they can be ultimately defused.




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