Be a Friend to Your S.P.O.U.S.E.September 13, 2013 at 9:58 am | Posted in Biblical friendship, Biblical Marriage | 3 Comments
Tags: Christian marriage, Genesis 2, marriage, marriage counseling, Proverbs 17, Proverbs 19, Proverbs 22, Proverbs 27, Song of Solomon 5
The very first human friendship in the history of the world also happens to have been the very first marriage.
We tend to think of “friendship” and “love” as being in two different, although overlapping, spheres, but friendship is one of the most important ingredients in “love.”
Listen to how the wife in Song of Solomon talks about her husband:
My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand.
Song of Solomon 5:10
She says, “My husband is awesome – I would not want anybody else.”
His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven.
Song of Solomon 5:11
My wife has a slight variation on this when she talks about me: “He is very handsome – his bald spot shines like a diamond.”
His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set.
Song of Solomon 5:12
“He doesn’t have beady eyes.” (Always a plus!)
His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh.
Song of Solomon 5:13
“I like his aftershave and even his breath smells good!”
His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires.
Song of Solomon 5:14
“He has strong hands and six-pack abs.”
His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.
Song of Solomon 5:15
“He has nice legs and his profile is stunning.”
His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.
Song of Solomon 5:16
She is really carried away with this dude’s looks, and she’s telling this to the other women, but she is referring to him as her beloved and her friend.
I have devised an acrostic from the word S.P.O.U.S.E. to remind us of the importance of friendship between husbands and wives.
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Be a friend to your spouse by loving her or him at all times – especially in adversity. That’s what solace is: comfort in times of distress.
Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.
Friendship means staying close by – being there to help when a need arises. The relationship of marriage is less meaningful without the proximity of friendship.
Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.
Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts.
Friends give each other gifts. It might just be time and attention or it might be material gifts, but being at your spouse’s disposal is the gift of usefulness. There are few things more discouraging than having a useless spouse.
S.upport and S.anctification
He that loveth pureness of heart, for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend.
Kind words are supportive and helpful words are the marks of true friendship, but true love is always love in truth.
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Friends sometimes fight, but they fight to the glory of God, and they fight with a purpose. They fight in love, and God puts them together to make each other stronger – like iron.
E.ncouragment and E.xhortation
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
A good spouse has to batter the other spouse occasionally (figuratively, not literally!), but then we have a duty to bandage the wound in love.