Why Not Get Divorced?

March 29, 2019 at 4:16 pm | Posted in Q&A | 1 Comment
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Question: I know I’m a Christian, but I’m completely unhappy in this marriage. I don’t love my spouse anymore, and I don’t think my spouse really loves me. I’m miserable, and I deserve to be happy. I just want to get out and start over. Can you give me one good reason not to get divorced?

Answer: I can give several reasons, but I’ll give you three right off the top of my head.

1. God designed your marriage to be an illustration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the most important thing in the universe. If you take the gift of marriage which God gave you, and you choose to mar the illustration or to portray it inaccurately and misrepresent what it means by getting divorced, then you are telling the world that Jesus does not love His bride, the Church (Christians), with an everlasting, forgiving, unbreakable love. The reality is, in your own life, you have hurt Christ more than your spouse has hurt you, and Christ has been through far worse for you than anything you’ve had to endure in your marriage, yet He loves you eternally. You would be dishonoring the Savior Who died for you if you choose divorce. See Ephesians 5:22-32.

2. You will be breaking a solemn vow that you made before God. Unless you had some sort of whacky pagan wedding ceremony, you and your spouse promised each other that you would stay together until death, and the name of God was invoked. It is a dangerous and foolish thing to break a vow made before the holy God. See Ecclesiastes 5:4-6 and Numbers 30:2.

3. Your children. Children do not benefit from divorce. In most cases they either witness conflict or become a part of it, but, even in cases where the divorcing parents get along relatively well for the sake of the kids, it still sends a message that the two people they love most in the world did not love them enough to stay married, and it will affect them later on if not now.

There are many, many more reasons not to get divorced, including the fact that God hates it, and the choice to do it effectively places your happiness in a place of exaltation above God’s revealed will and the belief that He can overcome temporary unhappiness and misery with eternal joy when we patiently wait, obey, and trust Him.

Finally, I strongly recommend that you meet with someone for serious counseling who knows and understands what the Bible teaches about marriage before you go through with this. Once you announce your intention to be divorced or state that your marriage is making you miserable, you will attract a certain group of people that you love and trust, and who genuinely think they have your best interest at heart, and many if not most will encourage you to get divorced, and tell you that it’s not that bad. You owe it to yourself to speak with someone who will stand up for Christ and present His point of view to you, even if it’s not necessarily what you want to hear, or even if it comes from someone who doesn’t have as close a relationship with you as those who are telling you to go through with it.

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