How Many Sermons about Purity Do Boys Need to Hear?

July 7, 2014 at 12:00 pm | Posted in Social Media Shares and Mass Emails | 3 Comments
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If you’ve been in or around much church “youth group” type ministry, you’ve probably heard these types of sniveling complaints once or twice from junior high or high school age boys:
I’m tired of hearing about ‘purity’ all the time.
I’m tired of being told that I’m a monster that only thinks about sex.
Why don’t they preach to the girls instead? It’s their fault for being immodest.

So, do they have a point? Is there overkill going on when it comes to preaching about purity? Where would we look in the Bible to find out the right emphasis to place on the issue of avoiding sexual immorality for boys? I think Proverbs Chapters 5 – 7 would be a good place to start. Proverbs 5 starts off with a father imparting wisdom to his son. And what is the very first thing he addresses? The temptation and danger of sexual immorality. In Chapter 6 the father admonishes the son about the trap of laziness (vv.6-11), and stresses the importance of remaining focused on God’s Word (vv.20-23). But focused on God’s Word as a remedy against what? Sexual immorality (vv.24-35)! What about this kid’s self-esteem? What about his pride and honor and dignity? Why does his dad have to keep harping on the danger of sexual lust and temptation? Surely that’s enough! Not quite. Chapter 7 is a detailed and provocative account of the jeopardy that lurks for “youths” and “young men” who are “void of understanding.”

Now, that’s three whole chapters of God’s Word specifically aimed at boys, forcefully and repeatedly telling them what the Bible frequently makes clear:

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

I Corinthians 6:18

Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

II Timothy 2:22

Now, someone might object and say that the chapters in Proverbs are a father’s instructions to a son, not a youth pastor’s or conference speaker’s sermons to other men’s sons. In response, I would say, if you are a father who Biblically teaches his son in the way outlined in Proverbs, good for you. I’m no huge fan of youth group ministry. Take your boy out of there and take the full responsibility for this type of teaching on yourself. But if you decide you want him in there, he needs to keep his mouth shut when the youth teacher or pastor is instructing the other boys whose fathers aren’t doing such a stellar job.

If you are a youth group aged boy, and you have been taught that immodesty on the part of women and girls is the real source of your sin, you need to go back to the Bible and think again. Nobody in his or right right mind would deny that one of the reasons for modesty among females is to assist men in avoiding temptation, but that is by no means an excuse for your own lust. And if you don’t like being told that – in your flesh, apart from Christ – you are a monster and a sexual deviant at heart, too bad. That’s what the Bible says you are.

I recently saw a post by a boy who complained that he had grown up in church and youth group and had heard untold numbers of sermons about purity. He said there was “one good one” out all those, and that was all he needed. Such a statement highlights the self-centeredness which lurks in the human heart. For how are preachers and Bible teachers, who preach countless messages to countless boys over the years, supposed to discern which one is the “right one” that does the trick? The Bible is where we learn what is to be preached, re-preached, and emphasized. Until you come up with a Bible reason as to why boys should not be told the truth about lust, temptation, and sexual immorality, keep your ears open, your mouth shut, your eyes guarded, and your pants on.

Beware Whose Feet You Follow

May 22, 2013 at 9:58 am | Posted in Biblical Walking, The Fives | 1 Comment
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The Lord Jesus recruited disciples with this command and invitation: “Follow Me.” His, however, is not the only voice in this world that will beckon you. Therefore, we must beware of temptations that will lead us, like dull-witted sheep, astray.

The Bible warns us specifically of the sinful seductress, who, with enticing and deceptive words, lures us in a deadly direction:

Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.

Proverbs 5:5

It is risky to follow someone who promises something rewarding. It may lead to a great blessing or a terrible trap, and often we can’t know for certain until we take the chance. However, here the Bible gives us the gift of insight into the future. The feet of a “strange woman” lead ultimately to death, but her feet are already “taking hold” of the powers of darkness and pulling them toward the foolish follower lured by her false charms. Let us take careful heed to the wisdom and warnings found in Scripture. Following Jesus leads certainly to eternal life. Following the temptress in Proverbs 5 leads certainly toward damage, despair, destruction, and death.

Marriage: The Long and the Short of It

December 21, 2011 at 11:25 am | Posted in Biblical Marriage, Uncategorized | 14 Comments
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There are a couple of old cliches’ when you hit a big anniversary milestone in your marriage. “I’ve been married for 20 years,” says the husband, groaning, “but it seems like a hundred.” Or, “We’ve been married for 20 years,” says the wife with a fake smile, checking over her shoulder to see who’s listening, “but it seems like just yesterday!”

I don’t want to be a spoilsport, but I don’t like either one of those cliches’. Twenty years ago today, God joined my wife and I together into one flesh in a marriage relationship. Aside from Jesus rescuing me from the penalty for my sins and saving my soul, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened to me. And the truth is, there are moments when 20 years seems like the blink of an eye, and there are moments when 20 years seems like 20 years.

My wife is the sweetest, most loyal, loving, holy, caring, compassionate, faithful, smartest, God-fearing, Christ-honoring, and beautiful wife in the world – and she’s only getting better every day! She’s a wonderful mother to our children, to boot!

So, while it’s true that the last 20 years do seem like they’ve gone by very fast, I am not going to minimize the blessings of 20 years of experiences and memories and trials and struggles and victories. 20 years is 20 years, to the glory of God. Jesus has blessed us in ways we didn’t expect. When we’ve been in trouble, He has rescued us. When we’ve been trapped, He has delivered us. When we’ve been hurting, He has comforted us. When we’ve rejoiced, He has rejoiced with us. When we’ve wavered and doubted, He’s been faithful and true. When we’ve been scared, He’s been our assurance and strength. When we’ve lost our way, He’s found us and brought us back. When we’ve drawn near to Him, He’s drawn nearer to us. When we have been confused, He’s been our wisdom. When we’ve been unloving and unlovely, He has loved us beyond measure. We give honor and praise and worship and thanks to His Holy Name.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

Proverbs 5:18

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Ephesians 5:31-33

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

I Peter 3:7

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mark 10:6-9


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