The Deep End

I’m Just Sayin’ 2

I have an ad in the phone book, and, I’m just sayin’, if you call a place of business, be PREPARED TO EXPRESS THE REASON YOU ARE CALLING.

How many times each day does my phone go off, and I say, “Hello, this is Ministry Addict, can I help you?” only to hear, “Uhhhh, yesss, uhhh, I’m trying to find a, uhhhh, [name of business].

Me: “Yes, that’s what I do.”

Caller: (dead silence)

Me: “Can I help you????”

Caller: “Can I ask you something about (the name of business)?”

Me: Yes.

Caller: (dead silence)

Me: “Go ahead…it’s okay… you had a QUESTION? Or a REASON FOR CALLING?”

And on and on it goes, while time is wasted. Look, I know people are in the habit of reaching a recorded answering machine nowadays, or a robot-voice that says, “Press 1 for English,” or at least a receptionist, but, I’m just sayin’, IT’S OKAY. When you call a place of business, you might actually talk to the person who can help you. Here’s a hint: Prepare what you are going to say a little bit in your head before you dial the number! We will both communicate better and more efficiently if you tell me why you called me, instead of me having to drag it out of you like a murder confession from a mob informant.

When I used to have a car radio that worked I would sometimes listen to a sports talk show on which the host would invite listeners to call the program live on the air. His one requirement was that when people called they must “have a take and don’t [expletive deleted, but it means ‘stink.’]” In other words, be able to express yourself clearly, and don’t stink at it.

That advice may be a little coarse, but I’m just sayin’, when you call a place of business, you have my permission: go nuts, put yourself out on a limb and actually expect someone helpful to answer. If they do, then have a take, and don’t stink. I’m just sayin’.