Pursuing Peace in Marriage
September 10, 2020 at 4:31 pm | Posted in Ephesians, Uncategorized | 7 CommentsTags: Biblical marriage, Christian marriage, Christian peace, Ephesians 4, James 4, marriage, Philippians 2, preparing for conflict, Romans 12
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
Romans 12:18
This is a verse that might make us think of just trying to get along with others in general, or a reminder not to go around starting trouble. (My wife likes to say, “Don’t start nothin’, won’t be nothin’!”)
We could also emphasize the part of the verse that says “if it be possible,” because it almost sounds like an excuse when we find ourselves in a conflict: “I wanted to live peaceably with that jerk, but it’s just not possible.” However, when we start to list all the areas where we want peaceful relationships, certainly marriage has to be at the top of that list.
Knowing the often-stressed importance of communication in marriage, and recognizing that there are tremendous differences in how husbands and wives communicate, we remember that these differences are designed by God, and hopefully we learn from our spouses as we “complement” each other.
The phrase “as much as lieth in you” should exhort us to put in maximum effort to try to prevent the kind of conflict which would force us to fight a defensive battle in our sanctification. It reminds us to go on the offensive in preempting conflict and in showing love: to take the initiative.
Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
Philippians 2:2-4
Thinking about the other person (especially your spouse) sounds like such an easy task. But how often do we really do it? A wife has been at home alone for a significant period of time while her husband has been away. What is she hoping to experience when he first gets home? That he’ll go straight to the television or the computer? That he won’t notice her? That he will find some fault to criticize? What about the husband? What is hoping to experience when he first gets home? Anger? Unkindness? We know that we’re supposed to answer all of these in the negative, but being likeminded and of one accord is more than just gauging the current mood and adapting. It is proactively preparing to bring blessings to your spouse, and then delivering them in person.
Humility is the virtue that cultivates this mindset. Think about the Gospel when preparing to see your spouse. Strife and vainglory are the means to selfishness, but esteeming your spouse better than yourself sets a different goal. If she’s more important than me, what can I do to serve her? And if I’m less important than her, serving is a great way to fulfill my purpose.
I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,
Ephesians 4:1
Your “calling” as a spouse is not to be pampered and spoiled and served and waited upon. It is not to be a safe punching bag or a venting zone. No! It’s to love and serve and sacrifice and help someone else to grow in the likeness of Christ even as you yourself grow in Christian maturity.
With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;
Ephesians 4:2
This will only make sense if we reject all the world’s self-help and psychological mumbo jumbo. Admit that you are low. Behave meekly because apart from God you are nothing. Recognize that suffering is one of the BEST times to show love and suffer long. Recognize that being offended/sinned-against is the BEST time to show forbearance and forgiveness.
Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:3
The bond of peace does not just magically occur when you and your spouse happen to have good days at the same time. The unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace comes about through ENDEAVORING. Pursuing peace in marriage is an adventure, an expedition, a long trip over rugged terrain requiring planning and courage and perseverance. Those things are hard, but they are also the most rewarding. You and your spouse are not Ozzie and Harriet – you are Lewis and Clark!
From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
James 4:1-2
Most conflict in marriage does not come from outsiders interfering. Sometimes it does, but hardly ever. It comes from within us. It comes from desire born of dissatisfaction – which lets us know it’s selfish desire. Redirect your desire to get something OUT OF your marriage toward putting something INTO IT.
A (Perhaps) Parabolic Prodigal’s Preferential Proximate Predicament Produces Patient Prosperous Passionate Persistent Protective Paternal Pardon
October 28, 2019 at 2:36 pm | Posted in Luke | 6 CommentsTags: commentary on Luke, Deuteronomy 21, Hebrews 10, Hebrews 7, James 4, Luke 15, parable of the prodigal son, Romans 2, Sunday School lessons on Luke, the prodigal son
Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find it? And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost.
Luke 15:8-9
In the previous parable, about the lost sheep, the sheep was foolishly wandering away, but the coin did absolutely nothing to lose itself. This lady losing a piece of silver would be like a person with a thousand dollars losing $100. It’s only a small percentage, but it’s still a lot of money. If you lost it, you would rejoice when you found it.
The parable about the lost sheep highlights the Son. The parable about the lost coin highlights the Holy Spirit. The story about the prodigal son highlights the Father. Lost sheep and lost coins are out of place. People who are out of God’s will (especially lost sinners) are “disjointed,” they are out of place and not considered “useful” as long as they remain lost. They are also in danger.
The “parable” of the prodigal son may be a made-up story, as most of the parables of Jesus are thought to be, but the stories about the sheep and the coins are specifically called parables (Luke 15:3), whereas the one about the prodigal son starts off with:
And he said, A certain man had two sons:
Luke 15:11
Jesus may have taken the account of an actual event and used it for a spiritual lesson.
And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.
Luke 15:12 (emphasis added)
But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.
Deuteronomy 21:17
Under the Old Testament system an older son got two thirds and a younger son one third, but this is talking about inheritance rights, and inheritance rights aren’t triggered until the father dies, so the younger son in Jesus’s story wanted the portion of the goods that would “falleth” to him. He was tired of waiting for his father to die. He didn’t want to be around him. He didn’t want to live with him. He didn’t want to work for him. He just wanted his money. In essence, he wished his father was dead. The younger son’s preference was to live without the father’s presence.
As Christians, let us never feel oppressed by our Father’s presence. When we deal with lost people, remember that they have no desire for God’s presence. We often hear of people “seeking God,” but, apart from Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit, they are seeking God the way bank robbers seek cops.
In the story of the prodigal son the father divided unto THEM his living. He didn’t argue and he didn’t plead. He just did it, but we can imagine that there was much drama before this day. We find out later on this was a loving father, and it did not appear that the son was planning on ever coming back.
And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.
Luke 15:13
How predictably heart-breaking. As soon as he could pack up his stuff and cash his dad’s check, he headed straight for the far country. He didn’t want his father’s presence, and, in fact, he didn’t even want his father’s proximity. As Christians, we must never stop drawing near to God.
For the law made nothing perfect, but the bringing in of a better hope did; by the which we draw nigh unto God.
Hebrews 7:19
Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.
Hebrews 10:22
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
James 4:8
Drawing close to God involves cleansing, but lost people have no way to get clean apart from Christ.
The father divided to the younger son his “living” – his bios – the things necessary for life, and the son soon started selling those things to support a depraved type of “living” – zao – a vain “lifestyle.”
So, here’s the picture of the prodigal lifestyle. First, you have enough cash for “riotous living.” You don’t think about earning, much less saving. You spend, and you party, and you make tons of fake friends. Then you use it all up, and you start to lose your furniture, your car, your clothes, even your home. Then it’s not a question of whether you should work – it’s how are you going to eat? To make things worse, in the case of the prodigal son, it appears that the economy crashed while he was in this condition. Swayed by his own selfish preference, and not wanting his father’s presence or proximity, he found himself in quite a predicament.
And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.
Luke 15:14
He had no more friends, no more resources, no more family, no resume’, and no credit. We might expect the father to come to his rescue at this point, but he didn’t. By withholding material provision the father was actually providing somthing better: the opportunity for transformation through brokenness. He was waiting for the son to come back to him.
And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.
Luke 15:15
This was an especially terrible job for a Jewish man, for whom swine were considered not only physically, but religiously, unclean.
And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.
Luke 15:16
Our Heavenly Father knows exactly how bad things have to get for His children before they are forced to face reality and/or learn their lesson.
And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
Luke 15:17
Having seen an illustration of the Father’s patience, we now see His prosperity. Even when we squander His resources, God’s supply never runs out – or even runs low. The first things the younger son thought of when he came to his senses were the father’s goodness (he fed his servants well) and the father’s greatness. God is good – willing to be gracious – and great. He has enough grace to spare for the worst sinner. We can’t out-sin God’s grace.
Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?
Romans 2:4
I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,
Luke 15:18
Sinners always sin against someone, but first and foremost sin is against God.
And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.
Luke 15:19
None of us are “worthy” to be called God’s children, and we can’t work our way into his favor.
And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.
Luke 15:20
We thank God for His patience and prosperity, but we must not forget His persistence. The prodigal son’s father was watching and waiting. As an earthly father, he was hoping, but our Heavenly Father KNOWS. We also see an illustration of His passion, as the father in the story RAN, no longer waiting. The simple act of a wayward son coming home filled him with joy.
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; [he is] a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21
The Father’s protection from the penalties of the Law may be another facet to the story. Did the prodigal son’s father run and embrace the son to keep him from being stoned? If so, his protection was met with the son’s proposal:
And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.
Luke 15:21
But here he was interrupted by the father’s pronouncement:
But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.
Luke 15:22-24
The father’s response was the gifts of imputed righteousnesss (the best robe placed on the son), ordained authority (a ring placed on his hand), freedom (shoes placed on his feet), temporal joy (a command to feast), and everlasting joy (a recognition of figurative resurrection, “was dead and is alive again”).
Get the L out of There!
March 7, 2016 at 1:12 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 CommentTags: 1 John 2, 1 John 4, 1 John 5, 2 Corinthians 5, Deuteronomy 4, James 4, John 17, Mark 4, Matthew 13, Psalm 119, Psalm 12, Revelation 22
The “world” is often the Bible’s word for the ungodly system of this world, which opposes Christ and His Kingdom.
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
James 4:4
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
I John 2:15-17
Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them.
I John 4:4-5
Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?
I John 5:5
When we are trying to make disciples of Christ, we should, as quickly as possible, try to get those who are showing an interest in the Gospel message out of the “world” and into the Word.
He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful.
Matthew 13:22
Worldly cares and concerns can crowd the truth of the Bible out of a person’s mind.
And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.
Mark 4:19
However, we must not let the animosity that exists toward the Word in this world keep us from diligently getting out into the world as evangelists and witnesses and missionaries.
I have manifested thy name unto the men which thou gavest me out of the world: thine they were, and thou gavest them me; and they have kept thy word.
John 17:6
I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
John 17:14
To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
II Corinthians 5:19
Christ Himself is the Living Word of God, and His mission to reconcile lost and otherwise hopeless sinners to the holy God was and is accomplished by the power of His Word.
Finally, we need to make sure that we keep the “world” out of the Word. The canon of Holy Scripture is closed, and our complete Bible in 66 books is sufficient to show us everything that God wants us to know about Godly living and the plan of redemption in this life. We must not let the transmission of God’s Word in our day be corrupted by faulty modern translations, by extra-Biblical false prophecies such as the Book of Mormon or the NWT Bible used by the Jehovah’s Witnesses, nor by the influence of referential texts of false religions such as the Koran.
The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Psalm 12:6
Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
Deuteronomy 4:2
LAMED. For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven.
Psalm 119:89
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
Revelation 22:18-19
Only one little letter makes the difference between “world” and “Word,” but that letter could have an eternal impact. We need to:
1. Get out of the world and get into the Word.
2. Get the Word out into the world.
3. Get the world out of the Word.
Why We’re so Difficult
June 18, 2014 at 10:08 am | Posted in Biblical friendship, James, Uncategorized | 6 CommentsTags: complications, contention, difficult life, good advice, humility, James 3, James 4, pride, Proverbs 13, wisdom
Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.
Proverbs 13:10
Contention is fussing and fighting. It’s squabbling and not getting along. It usually breeds things like gossip and revenge and unforgiveness and pettiness and loss of friendships and a bad testimony and wasting time. It complicates our lives in areas where they should be simple. Instead of helping us to love and serve others, it forces us to try to one-up them, or to show them that we don’t have to put up with something from them, or to manipulate them, or to try to get the last word, or to break off friendships and relationships, and to waste and end opportunities to glorify God in those relationships.
From where does contention come? From pride, of course. The “only” in Proverbs 13:10 can be read in two ways:
(1) Contention only comes by pride in the sense that it doesn’t come from anything else. Pride is the ultimate cause or source of all contention.
(2) “Only” a little bit of pride will bring contention. In other words, the least little influence of pride makes a big stink.
Your friendship is going good, and all of a sudden you perceive yourself as being slighted. “So what?” you ask. Then you think, “What do I mean ‘so what?’ This is me we’re talking about. I don’t have to take that. Nobody does that to me.” And – boom! – you’ve got contention where there used to be peace and blessings and love and friendship.
Here is the contrast (which is a common device in Proverbs): “But…” with the well-advised there is wisdom – meaning that it’s smart to not be contentious. So how do we short-circuit the pride that brings it? By being well-advised. By taking advice from the Bible (the best) or from someone who is well-versed (pun intended) in Biblical knowledge (second best).
This also works in a two-fold way:
(1) The Bible will destroy your pride.
(2) The mere act of seeking advice is humbling and therefore pride-crippling, because it means admitting you need help from someone else.
When we get that stinging feeling which comes from our perception that someone has hurt our pride, we have options. We can do what we were taught to do in the past, but this is usually a mistake. We can do whatever just seems best in our own minds, but this is almost always a bad idea. We can just do what everyone else (the world) is doing, but that is really the worst thing we could do. Or we can be teachable and humble and get ourselves well-advised before we decide how we’re going to think, act, and treat that other person when they go off-script and don’t treat us how we think we deserve to be treated.
Let’s be wise, not contentious. Let’s be humble, not proud.
(By the way, I can’t technically prove it, but I personally believe that James 3:13 – 4:10 is a New Testament exposition of Proverbs 13:10.)
Catechism Question 7
June 4, 2014 at 11:40 am | Posted in Children's Bible Catechism | 7 CommentsTags: 1 John 3, Bible catechism, breaking the law, children's catechism, James 4, Law of God, Leviticus 5, sin, transgression, violations
Question 7: What is sin?
Answer: Sin is violating God’s law.
Prove it.
Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.
I John 3:4
“Trans” means across. Sinning is going across the boundaries of God’s law with ag”gression.” Two broad categories of sin are sins of “omission” and sins of “commission,” which are, respectively, any lack of conformity to, or transgression (violation) of, the law of God. In other words, both doing bad, and failing to do good, are sin.
Other verses to consider:
And if a soul sin, and commit any of these things which are forbidden to be done by the commandments of the LORD; though he wist it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity.
Leviticus 5:17
Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
James 4:17
Christian F.R.I.E.N.D.S.hip (Part 1)
November 20, 2013 at 1:16 pm | Posted in Biblical friendship, Uncategorized | 12 CommentsTags: 2 Corinthians 6, 2 Samuel 13, Biblical friendship, Ephesians 4, friendship, James 4, Luke 11, Proverbs 27, true friendship
The Bible has much to say about friends, and friendship is encouraged in Scripture, but choosing the wrong friend can be dangerous.
But Amnon had a friend, whose name [was] Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab [was] a very subtil man.
II Samuel 13:3 (emphasis added)
Christians are supposed to have friends and we are supposed to be friends. Did you know there is a difference between being friends with someone and being a friend to someone?
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
II Corinthians 6:14
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
James 4:4
As Christians, we are not supposed to get involved in the sinful activities of non-Christians, which means you really shouldn’t be friends with non-Christians, but you definitely should be a friend to all sorts of non-Christians. Therefore, we serve and love them, but we shouldn’t compromise our stand for Jesus, and we should make sure they know that our loyalty to Christ comes before our loyalty to them. So, if a lost person falls down, you help him up – that’s being a friend to him; but if he fell down because he was doing something wrong, you don’t start doing it too, because that would make you friends with him.
Let’s look at what it takes to be friends with another Christian.
F.orgiving
One of the most important things to remember about being a Christian is that you are a forgiven sinner. You can’t be a Christian without acknowledging your sinfulness. Therefore, when two Christians are friends, that means two sinners have become friends. And sinners sometimes sin against each other. Friends make mistakes, they hurt each other’s feelings, they say the wrong thing, they let each other down sometimes. But if they are truly friends they respond to the sin of their friend the way that Jesus responds to our sins.
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32
If your friend is a Christian, then that means God punished Jesus on the Cross for what your friend has done wrong to you. Would it be right for you to punish your friend for something for which God has already punished Jesus? No. Be a good friend. Be forgiving. Be gracious. Be merciful.
R.esponsive
Being a good friend doesn’t mean you always do what your friend wants you to do, but it does mean that you respond when your friend has a real need.
And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
Luke 11:5-8
A good friend listens; he doesn’t just wait for his turn to talk. Even though listening is important, “doing” is usually the most significant part of service in Christian friendship, but not just “doing something.” They key is in doing what’s right for your friend in each situation – which means listening closely when your friend has something to say. Anybody can talk; it takes skill and patience to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth – some of us need to take the hint.
I.nsightful
A good friend is someone who gives good advice. That means he evaluates what’s going on, and then finds out what the Bible has to say about something before he just blurts out whatever comes to mind.
Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so [doth] the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.
Proverbs 27:9
Things that smell good are attractive – and they make people happy. The insight of a friend is the same way. “Hearty counsel” means insight or advice that turns out to be right. A good friend will pray about it, seek God’s will about it, look in the Bible, talk to someone wise about it, then carefully give good counsel. A bad friend says let’s just do the first thing that seems right, or let’s just do what everyone else does in this situation.
You can probably tell by now that I’m using an acrostic – F.R.I.E.N.D.S. – to list some qualifications of Christian friendship. Next time, we will look at the E.N.D.S.
How to Get High in Christian Ministry
October 21, 2013 at 11:13 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 CommentsTags: 2 Corinthians 10, devotions for teachers, Ephesians 5, I Timothy 2, Isaiah 57, James 4, John 8, Psalm 24, Psalm 51
And he said unto them, Ye are from beneath; I am from above: ye are of this world; I am not of this world.
John 8:23
Christians are supposed to operate on a different level: the level of Christ, not the level of this world. The level of Christ is a higher, better level, where God is honored and people are truly helped.
1. Get High by Climbing Up
Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?
Psalm 24:3 (emphasis added)
Who can ascend? Who can climb the hill of the Lord? The strong? The swift? The worldly wise? The prestigious? The famous? The wealthy? The influential? We must throw out our worldly ideas of what it means to “ascend” – to go up. You have to be bold to climb, says the world; but Gods says the contrite are the ones who will climb up to higher ground.
For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.
Isaiah 57:15
Contrition is a recognition that you have been conquered by someone more powerful than you. Contrition is freedom before God; it is bondage, oppression, and terror before anyone else. It takes strength to climb, says the world, there are no handicapped mountain climbers; but God says the broken are the ones who will climb up to higher ground in Christian ministry.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
Psalm 51:17
Someone who is broken before God is someone who realizes that he or she has messed up badly: someone who is willing to admit that he or she is wrong. Common sense would tell us that this is disastrous in a setting where other people can use your admission of wrong-doing or failure against you, but God requires a brokenness – a willingness to admit mistakes, faults, sins.
No one will ascend to higher ground under his own power. The only ones who will ascend are the ones who do not get weary in well-doing because they do not depend on their own strength. The only ones who will ascend are the ones who have a guide Who will lead them over or around the streams and boulders of temptation. The only ones who will ascend are those who have the right foot-gear: their feet shod with the preparation of the Gospel of peace. That means we need to be prepared to be Gospel-centered when we deal with non-Christians and with each other. Our distinguishing characteristics should be grace, mercy, love, truth, peace, forgiveness, and longsuffering.
The only ones who will ascend are the ones whom the Lord Himself will lift up.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
James 4:10
In Christian ministry you “get high” by “getting low.”
2. Get High by Cleaning Off
Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.
Psalm 24:3-4 (emphasis added)
What makes our hands so unclean?
I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.
I Timothy 2:8
Wrath makes our hands dirty. You can’t get right with God while you’re not right with your brother or sister in Christ. Wrath is reserved for God with the exception of our wrath against sin and against our spiritual enemies in high places. Wrath makes hands unclean, and so does doubting. When we have an unpleasant ministry job to do, we say we’re getting our hands dirty, but really we’re getting them clean. Jesus was not afraid to touch the unclean.
If ministering in love cleans the hands, what washes the heart to make it pure? The Word of God.
Christ gave Himself for the Church…
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Ephesians 5:26
3. Get High by Casting Down
He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.
Psalm 24:4 (emphasis added)
Vanity is a type of idolatry. It is anything you are pursuing, or walking after the course of, that is not of God. Hopefully, you do not worship a graven idol, but if idolatry is giving your heart to anything that that is spiritually empty, then I am afraid that too much of what captures our hearts is vanity, and we are guilty of lifting up our souls to it. What should we be doing with vanity? With emptiness? With anything that is what the Bible calls “imaginations:” anything without eternal worth?
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
II Corinthians 10:5
We should be casting vanity down, not lifting ourselves up to it. Casting down means destroying: the way that God’s people were at times supposed to destroy their enemies under the herem (the “ban”). God wanted them all destroyed: women, children, livestock, altars, statues of false gods – everything. If a weed is simply pruned back, but not utterly destroyed, it will always grow back, often stronger than it was before. If we are going to climb up to higher ground, we are going to have to cast down imaginations, not just what the imaginations produce. If I am not reading my Bible regularly, it’s not enough just to determine to read my Bible more. If I am not praying regularly, it is not enough just to determine to pray more. I must get to the thinking which is causing these problems. I must get the root out by casting down imaginations and worldly thinking.
Guarding the Top of the Wall in Marriage
March 8, 2013 at 1:09 pm | Posted in Biblical Marriage, I Corinthians | 5 CommentsTags: 1 Corinthians 6, 2 Timothy 2, Christian marriage, James 4, marriage, marriage counseling, Matthew 5, Proverbs 6, Satan's schemes, sex in marriage
As we seek to guard against the temptation of sexual infidelity, we have imagined our marriages as walled cities under attack by Satan. In the last lesson, I discussed the way he attempts to send “exalted” thoughts and ideas up and over the walls. Remember, these “assailants” are false statements that are esteemed in our culture as being valid. They are statements that boldly exalt themselves against the revealed Word of God.
First assailant: Flirting is not cheating.
Or to put it another way: You can look and not touch (applies more to men, in general). Or to put it yet another way: You can share intimate thoughts and feelings with another person on the internet or the phone and it’s not cheating (applies more to women, in general).
Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Proverbs 6:25 (emphasis added)
Notice that the prohibition is not against lusting after this beautiful person in your hands, on your lips, or even in your loins! (Although, those would certainly be prohibited, too.) The prohibition is against lusting in the heart (which includes your thought life). There is nothing wrong with admiring beauty. However, when a married man says, “I can admire a beautiful woman if I want,” the only right response is, “Yes, you can, sir, as long as she’s your wife.” From a man’s perspective, women are beautiful and they are exciting to look at. Young boys need to be told that truth. But as they grow into young men, they also need to be told to get a job, to get a home, to get a car, to get it insured, to first become a man – then, to get a wife and look at her all they want.
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
Matthew 5:27
There is an elliptical thought between Matthew 5:27 and 28 that implies – even in the time of Jesus’s earthly life – there were those who believed it was wrong to commit adultery, but not to think about committing adultery.
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Matthew 5:28
Why did Jesus equate lusting in the heart with the actual commission of adultery? Certainly the person who looks but doesn’t touch does not break up a family or cause an unwanted pregnancy or crush the feelings of his or her own spouse. Jesus’s point was not that lusting in the heart does as much damage as physically committing adultery. His point was that the God Who made us is so holy that He condemns not only the accomplishment of the sin but anything that tends toward the sin.
Second assailant: Sex is physical and it is not mixed up with spirituality.
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
I Corinthians 6:18
The fact that a spouse may commit fornication without having any spiritual “feelings” for the object of his or her lust, thereby making it a “physical sin,” does not excuse the spiritual implications. If you are a Christian, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Will you pretend that you can defile His temple without bringing disgrace to Him? Lying can cause terrible pain and trouble. Violence can inflict terrible pain. But fornication defiles not only the people affected by it outwardly, but, in a sense, it defiles that which is most closely related to God’s presence. In the Old Testament, the worshiping of Baal in the temple of God was considered one of the most egregious of all offenses against God. How much more the commission of fornication where God’s very Spirit resides in the body of a believer? The consideration of such a sin must be brought captive and cast down.
Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
I Corinthians 6:15-16
Satan would exalt the idea that sexual immorality causes the Holy Spirit to temporarily leave a believer long enough for him or her to fornicate with impunity. That wicked lie must be knocked off the top of the wall of your marriage before it gets over.
Third assailant: A mature Christian does not need safeguards.
Satan whispers: “You can handle it. If you can’t take a little flirting, a little proximity to the opposite sex, you must be some immature, baby Christian.” If not trusting my flesh enough to avoid temptation makes me a baby, then pass me a bottle of milk and change my diaper! The truth is, I don’t need to prove whether I can withstand it or not. The Bible (remember, these are “imaginations” of Satanic influence which must be exposed to Scripture) already tells me the score on what I can and can’t handle.
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
I Corinthians 6:18 (emphasis added)
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
II Timothy 2:22 (emphasis added)
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7 (emphasis added)
The devil says, “Look, you’re a Christian. God does not want you to be all angry, like some puritanical prude – what do you mean you won’t even ride in a car with a woman you’re not married to..? You’re a ‘legalist.’ Christianity is about love not anger – chill out. And God hasn’t given you a spirit of fear. He even told you to stand up and fight against me – now you’re going to run away from temptation?” When you find yourself thinking this way, beware. That’s a “high thought” exalting itself against the mind of God as revealed in His Word. It needs to be torn down from the top of the wall around your marriage.
More Testing for Puffiness in Your Marriage
July 11, 2012 at 9:57 am | Posted in Biblical Marriage, I Corinthians | 11 CommentsTags: 1 Corinthians 13, 2 Samuel 7, Christian marriage, James 4, Jeremiah 45, Luke 1, marriage, marriage counseling, pride in marriage, Psalm 115
Last time we looked at some tests to see if you are vaunting yourself or puffing yourself up in your marriage.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
I Corinthians 13:4 (emphasis added)
Here is the second half of the ten tests:
Test Six: Do you insist on your spouse taking your side in every outside conflict?
Sometimes even the most prideful people will self-deprecatingly point out that they are not always right. But this is aiming too low. Being the “least sinful” person among a race of sinful people is like being the valedictorian of summer school.
When I admit that I am “not always right,” but I still insist that my wife side with me unquestioningly in every conflict, I am guilty of using God’s daughter to help “puff myself up.”
Then went king David in, and sat before the LORD, and he said, Who am I, O Lord GOD? and what is my house, that thou hast brought me hitherto?
II Samuel 7:18
When I believe that I have reached some exalted state because I somehow deserve it or because I have somehow earned it or because I have somehow been rewarded for being good, I am probably thinking like a vaunting puffer.
Tests Seven and Eight show some of the underlying thought patterns which cause problems in this area of marriage.
Test Seven: Do you need your spouse to acknowledge what you do – or else?
Test Eight: Do you think you shouldn’t have to wait your turn?
Few spouses want to admit to these types of attitudes, but some deeper probing may be in order:
a. Some spouses solve the abhorrence-of-waiting-their-turn problem by implementing a turn-taking system, but then they “over-enforce” the turn-taking.
b. Actions often speak louder than words. Some spouses say they don’t expect to be praised or acknowledged for every little thing they do for their spouses, or for every little sacrifice they make, but one spouse’s actions can show that he or she subconsciously thinks that he/she is the more important one.
Not unto us, O LORD, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory, for thy mercy, and for thy truth’s sake.
Psalm 115:1
Marriage is not about getting recognition for ourselves or gratifying our desire for receiving the appreciation of another person. It’s more about glorifying God’s name, and reflecting the truth of Christ’s relationship to and with His Church.
Test Nine: Do you always have to win?
Most of us, if honest, would have to own up to a desire to be the winner in any type of contentious encounter. Some of us would possibly, at times, even acknowledge a temptation to act unfairly (to “cheat”) if it means the difference between being perceived as the “winner” instead of the “loser,” or being the one who is “right” instead of “wrong” in an argument.
It’s easier, in the cold analytical light of this test, to say, “Cheating or playing unfairly is wrong.” But in the heat of a disagreement, we need to be constantly reminding ourselves of Whose glory is at stake in this marriage. Who deserves the credit when I have a chance to succeed? Cheating may give me a victory, but (because it dishonors the name of God) cheating puts me in the horrifying position of appearing to get the “victory” over God.
And seekest thou great things for thyself? seek them not: for, behold, I will bring evil upon all flesh, saith the LORD: but thy life will I give unto thee for a prey in all places whither thou goest.
Jeremiah 45:5
Test Ten: Are you ever dishonest with your spouse?
Real Christian love is always concerned with the Truth. Lack of truthfulness reveals pride when telling my spouse the truth would mean revealing something unfavorable about me. Dishonesty is a key symptom of vaunting ourselves and puffing ourselves up.
How did you do on the ten tests? Were you able to identify any “puffiness” in your marriage? God does not help the puffed up. You do not have to be a Bible scholar or read very far in the pages of Scripture at all to learn this very basic and fundamental fact: The loud and the boastful excite God’s wrath. The “deflated” (no longer vaunting or puffed up) are more empty of self and ready to be filled by God.
He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.
Luke 1:53
If your marriage is empty of pride and vanity, God will fill it with good things. If your marriage is puffy, He might have to deflate it.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
James 4:10
If you will “unvaunt” yourself in your marriage, God will lift it up. Then He will vaunt Himself through it, which is right and good.
The Deep End 
Victorious Surrender
June 4, 2021 at 11:07 am | Posted in James | 1 CommentTags: commentary on James, fighting, James 4, prayer, selfish prayer, spiritual faithfulness, Sunday School lessons on James, worldliness
James Chapter 4 describes three kinds of wars: wars between Christians; wars within ourselves; and war against God.
James 4:11-12
There is a way to disagree without being disagreeable. As we develop the gift of discernment, we learn to observe our brothers and sisters in Christ with an attitude of love rather than sinful judgmentalism. It is easy to fall into the error of thinking that our judgment (like God’s) can not be wrong. God has appointed us to be many things, but “God-like judge” is not one of them. We must examine ourselves to determine if we have a tendency to be judgmental without knowing all the facts.
Normally wars between Christians are a result of the wars in ourselves.
James 4:1
First comes dissatisfaction with what we have, and a desire to have what we don’t have.
James 4:2
Then comes the idea that the reason we don’t have it is because someone else has it.
James 4:3
When we finally get around to asking God for it, we have forgotten the original reason we wanted it in the first place – which was so we could satisfy our lusts, not glorify God. However, God hasn’t forgotten, so He says no.
Beware of selfishness when praying. When you catch yourself praying selfishly go back and examine the reason why you are praying for these things in the first place.
James 4:4
Are you asking God for the resources to help you be unfaithful to Him? As parents, we want our childern to obey because obedience is for their own good. However, it is possible to be influenced with a selfish motive in this area, too. We don’t want to feel the guilt that would come if we allowed them to be hurt. We need to remember the real reason that we want them to obey, and to avoid being hurt, is that we love them. When you truly love someone, you want that person to be well, AND you don’t want anything to hinder your closeness to him or her. God considers friendship with the world to be adultery committed against Him. It separates us from the fullness of fellowship and presence of the One Who truly loves us.
James 4:8-9
God says this because He loves us and He wants to lift us up to Himself.
James 4:10
There is no winning the war against God – EXCEPT – in a twist of supreme irony – when we surrender. This is the only war you win by surrendering.
James 4:14-15
When we recognize God as our King – after we have truly surrendered – then He proves His trustworthiness.